From candle light vigils to media campaigns, from the glamour world coming out on the streets to the mournful reassurances of the political leaders, from Parliamentary debates to street side vandalism; the past two weeks have seen it all. It all came to an end, of sorts, on Saturday (labeled Black Saturday by some), when the girl who was the victim of the heinous act passed away in the middle of the night. What bothers me is not just the incident, not just the massive protest that followed, not even the questions that were raised by Abhijit Mukherjee on the nature of the protesters. What bothers me is that behind all the chaos, there is a mentality that still lives, quiet and stable.
The incidents of rape have not increased or decreased in the past two weeks. Yes the media today is floated with more incidents of rape than usual, but given the furor in society over the topic that is only to be expected. They feed the need of the hour, fueling the temper, as the who's who of the society demand changes to the law. The Government is scrambling to give in to the demands of the crowds while also maintain the constitutional stability of the structure. Yet, at the root of it all lies the problem that rape is considered in various perceptions by most, and the opinion is so varied that it not only shocks, it feels incredible to a simplistic mind like mine.
Perhaps the reason why the arguments seem so incredible and ludicrous to me is because I can never comprehend this act as anything but animalistic. The thought of one's space being so brutally invaded, the thought of being subject to the touch that not only abuses but also demeans, snatches one's selfship over own body; makes my skin crawl & perhaps that is the reason why I can never approach the subject with the casualness that most do. Given my natural aversion to the discussion of the subject. it is unlucky that I have been unable to escape this topic. But what is worse is that I have had to tolerate the various justifications that have been stated.
The most shocking statement that I heard was from a friend on the cool Christmas eve, as we sat under the trees and enjoyed a meal together. "I think"- he started quiet confidentially, "that not all, but almost 70% of the rapes are consensual." Apparently my aghast expression caught his attention and he rushed to explain that "Not all of them of course, but yes quiet a few. I mean how is it possible that one man can rape a woman who is not willing?"
This wasn't coming from an uneducated man, nor one who was conservative in his thought process. I wondered whether this is what the world has come to, a place where the leading patrons of society finds the idea of rape so alien. Another, an MBA spoke about the mental capabilities of the rapist justifying that one doesn't know what the rapist have been through, the life experiences that led to the act. Even if one was so inclined to look into the psyche of a rapist, I doubt one is inclined to excuse the act, no matter what they might have been through. For me, there is no excuse for one man or four men using and abusing another human being.
What today needs to occur is not a change in the laws alone, but a change in the mentality of how we approach the system. One out of every five women you meet has been abused or molested in some form or the other. The statistics do not support our society, the views shock, the cases only make them worse. The movement, the reaction, all add to the growing need for reforms. Not only the men, but also the women need to look at our approach to the basic freedom of a woman.
I wear shorts, I wear skirts, I drink, I smoke, but I also wear a saree, enjoy celebrating my festivals as much as I enjoy a night out dancing and I deserve my freedom, my life.
I deserve me.
