Excellence: Is it all that matters?

                      Guess what I have just been laughing at? Three Idiots. The 'silencer' speech just ended and the whole 'these ideals don't work in the real world' deal! I love the movie, like almost all Indians. Then again I am one of the leaders of the  'emotional wagon'. But on the verge of starting my actual career, I do have to ask, how much is excellence worth in the 'real' world?'


                   
  To be honest with you, I have no interest in the whole over the top excellence deal. I don't really care whether I am an over the top journalist, or if everyone knows my name. I in fact am one of those people who likes her life in a certain manner, a job that pays for my needs and my dreams, people I care about around me, loads to eat, chocolates and books. But the problem with this is that most people tell me I lack excellence and that I am not really motivated. I lack a drive to achieve excellence according to most! Sad, I know. I might even agree with those who say this. But who is to say that excellence is the answer?

                     The person who most recently gave me a lecture about this is one who really feels that she is giving her two hundred percent to her job. And to be fair, she does. Here are the facts, she is well known in her sphere of influence, gets bylines by the dozen and is found quite intimidating by most. She also hates her boss, wants to progress further but is constrained by her personal and certain regretful practical problems and is a little lost in the personal sphere of her life. Another one I know who loves his job is fast losing someone he cares for.

                    Neither of them see it as a problem in their pursuit of excellence. But who is to say that their idea of excellence is the right one? I mean there has to be more to life than excellence at what one does. In a world of cut throat of competition (I mean even Paris Hilton has competition about being the dumbest blonde!), is there no one who sees that a sense of happiness is something that can lead to an excellent existence? Or am I the one who needs to open her eyes and realize that a blind pursuit of power and position (and I am not talking about the shenanigans that the Congress or Mamta is investing in) all that matter?

Guilt: A underhanded emotion

                        I love myself. I have known people who are obsessed with themselves. I am not one of them (sad as it may sound), but I do adore myself. So much so that I believe that I am a very self centered person (one of my close friends accused me of being so just the other day!). But there are so many in my life who believe that I have a whole lot of good in me and that I am wonderful (sounds like I am full of myself doesn't it?). Well, this isn't about me, it is about this emotion that I often find myself experiencing: Guilt.

    I dont know much about others but I usually feel guilty maybe 5 times a day minimum. When i was little and I used to go to school, I used to feel guilty because I could and kids living on the street couldn't. I feel guilty when I see that there are people who are standing in the rain and do not have a proper shelter. I am what some of my friends call naive, but I see it as humanitarian, but very honestly, I just feel guilty. I`feel guilty when some kid comes up to me at the signal and says that he/she hasn't eaten all day and is hungry. I usually give them food while this friend frowns. I can't explain it to her. Yes, some buy drugs with it, it is a scam and what not, but I just feel guilty.

                 I don't feel guilty for seeking revenge. That's my diabolical side I suppose. I feel a cold satisfaction when I see people who have hurt me suffer. But, there are a number of times when I find myself doing things I would rather not do because of guilt. I end up not getting some things cause I know how much people around me have sacrified for me to reach a position. I know a number of people whose actions are motivated by guilt. Yet somehow the world looks upon guilt as a very negative emotion. I wonder why.


      Not to hurt anyone's sentiments, but one of the world's biggest religion is based on the feeling of guilt. Your savior died for you, so how can you not follow? Sounds familiar? Now, I am not stepping on any toes, I really think all religions are equal. My focus is on this concept of repentance and guilt. One cannot deny that it is a very powerful motivator. Parents tell kids, we work so hard, all for you, why don't you study? I mean it is a guilt trip of sorts. You cannot deny it.

                  Then why is that as soon as someone mentions guilt, that I end of feeling that the emotion is negative. It has this sort of context to it, something that has been fed to me since I was child perhaps? I think it is an emotion that should be celebrated, it leads to repentance. It makes a person think, to feel bad and then motivates one to do something about it.
                    Yes, it also makes suckers out of people like me, but what can you say. We are very lovable for it, and maybe if you feel more guilty, if you could turn your mind around about the concept of guilt, then you will too be a lovable if a little gullible!