The unsaid... The unheard... The unseen!

                                                     I have a huge confession to make. I hadn't seen Pink. Me. Someone who talks about feminism as much as she talks about food. In my defence I had read and heard about it. And I knew what it entailed and applauded the concept of women standing up for themselves against the lifelong bullies... Men.
                                                     I finally saw the movie today. Thought it would be a nice start to a lazy weekend. And while I watched all I kept thinking was this is so true. So true. I am still struggling to come to terms with the balls, yes balls, these women had. Even in a fictional world it must be hard for them to portray characters which are not only self-assured but also strong enough to take on the powerful and connected of the world.
                                                 
I wish I could say that was true of me and the women around me. We all pretend to be these self-sufficient, gutsy, independent women who are living alone and making it in the world. But we never do stand up for ourselves. So I would like to apologize.
                                                   I apologize that I don't take the metro if I'm in a dress or short skirt. I'm sorry that I have left jobs because my reporting boss would talk to my chest and not my face. I'm sorry I never had the guts to complain about the colleagues and seniors who would undermine my work because I was a woman.
                                                  I am sorry that I worked in newsrooms where a bra strap and short dress led to 'healthy' flirting while enraged lines flashed on the screen about the woman's right to say no. I'm sorry that I made fun of the girl who didn't get news, but who did get ahead by getting around. I didn't realise that it was your way of surviving.
                                               
 Pink. It made me realise that as an Indian woman I shouldn't expect much. I'm responsible for my safety. A prostitute because of her profession has no rights to say no. A woman with her bra strap showing is asking to be started at. A woman when drinking and clubbing and living alone is just waiting for a man to sex her up.
                                                   Pink. A movie that makes us realise that the evils, talk about it and then brush it under the carpet because we all live in the real world where we know the boys would have won and Minal would have been raped while in jail. Where you realise that you still need a man while fighting your battles because you just can't do it alone. That it takes a man to make another realise that a no from a woman does indeed mean 'no'.
                                                 Pink. A movie that made me grateful for where I work today, for where I live and who my friends are.
                                                So while you wonder why the rant, think about the stats- 1 out of every 5 women you know has been molested; molested, not cat-called, not leched at, but actually, physically molested. And ask yourself-man and woman- why don't we stand up while I sit here asking myself the same...

WITHOUT YOU

How will I live without you?

Without the tinkling of your voice in my ear

Without the goosebumps from your goodmorning?

Without the smile in your tone that I love to hear?

How will I live without you?

Without the kindness in your eyes that I adore?

Without the stolen glances and the simple reality?

Without being in the place we were before?

How will I live without you?

Without the shore that helped me fight the whirlpool?

Without the anchor that kept me safe for so long?

Without the shelter from the world's storm so cruel?

How will I live without you?

Without the lullaby that lulled me to sleep each night?

Without the gentle hand that rocked and warmed me?

Without the blanket of love that I hugged so tight?

How will I live without you?

With these empty spaces that I don't know how to fill?

With these memories that leave me restless yet so still?

With these dying dreams that I can't bring myself to kill?

OF DELHI RAINS AND THE ROT...

                                 Returning to the City of Djinns  after 8 years, I came back with a lot of hopes, and bags of expectations. My friends in Mumbai warned about Delhi being soulless but I scoffed at them. I remembered with fondness my youthful days- the radical will to challenge, supported by my amazing faculty at LSR, the dreams of yonder years and I couldn't wait to leave behind the unending grind that is the Mumbai-based life. Yet, two months after, the rose-tinted glasses are off and I realised that the city is just as its rain- all thunder and no storm...
                                   The first thing that hit me was the scorching heat of the city- unforgiving, relentless, merciless-much like the people, cruel-without-need, merciless-without-limit; chipping away at the humanity of the soul, scratching away till only the bone is exposed and then gnawing at it like the rabid dog driven senseless by the heat! The city which is the capital of the country reflects the increasing inhumane spirit the country is descending into. We, the decedents of Chanakya, Ashoka, Kabir and Buddha seemed to have lost our way in the world. From the spiritual to the materialistic, from the simple to the hyper-complex, from the soul to the flesh... I had hoped that with the rains, the strong winds would clean us of all that weigh us down, but instead, Delhi rains disappoint, giving us a glimpse of what can be, but never cleansing. The heat always returns, and it highlights the harsh realities of the world around us.                                

Delhi meri jaan...How many of us have heard this? But where is the soul? The first showers in the city might wash away the day, but it always returns... Climbing out of the drains, the wind sweeping it up and challenging us with it, slapping us ion the face with it. But we just cover out faces, and keep going- each protecting oneself, uncaring of the person next to him/her. The fight for a metro seat, the haggling over the vegetables, the quick steps walk away even as a girl screams for help pierces the air is the norm. No one remembers the poor farmer in the air condition of the mall, no one remembers the old in the tight fit of the metro, no one remembers the lost innocence in the face of self-security.

                           Political disenchantment, stormy protests and accusations and the hunt for influence mark the streets of this seat pf power. But empowerment of the voiceless, equality, security of the weak is missing. The affluence dazzles, the political clout intimidates but warmth of a city that embraces is missing, idealism is squashes, individuality is mocked. I know times are changing, and you are either pro-government or anti-national, but I believe that never before has there been a bigger threat to the basic fabric of humanity and Delhi manages to epitomize that impending threat.

                                                  But, I believe that with each new season, the fight returns...Winters freezes the spread, spring brings new hope and with it the chance of growth and change. And therein lies the strength of the human race, the ability for change, to learn from our mistakes, to accept our mistakes, and with this hope I wait for the city to revive itself- to shed the rot and to embrace all we can have and all that we can be.
                                 

DRAGON TAMING OR JUMPING INTO THE FIRE?

The current Prime Minister has a weird way knack of being in news every time he decides to hitch a ride (and let's face it, he does do it A LOT!)...Now, now, before I get bashed up on Twitter he does do it so the country's foreign ties can flourish and the moolah can flow, so all good right? Anyways, that's for another day.... The recent trip to China has been all over news, social media and more (Man, I have to hire his PR firm..Wonder if it would do wonders for my career also?). Not to be a naysayer or anything, but is this fortune cookie another empty shell?

Although the media yesterday was splashed with words like 'stern message' & 'strong words never heard before', was there really anything new said? Maybeour PM said it in a more direct manner, but who can ever accuse Modi of being anything but? Remember the direct reference of Tibet being a part of China? I think it was more like a Freudian slip than a big political faux pas. But other than the stern message what are the key high lights of this 'new dawn' in the Indo-Sino relationship?

Modi's China visit had it all from hometown visits (another first), and visiting cultural heritage sites like Xi'an's Terracotta Warriors to the wrong map of India seeing air time on China's national news channel (just another day in the life of our hard working PM). But China's aggression when it comes to the border issues is no first...In fact the bilateral relations under both the NDA as well as the UPA has been rocky at best. Remember the infiltration bid by Chinese PLA in November to infiltrate into Ladakh soon after the President Xi Jingping's visit..Tough words or diplomacy both seem to have had little effect on Chinese aggression...

Of course the famous Chinese aggression hasn't really backtracked with the arrival of our 'formidable' PM Narendra Modi...Even as Modi landed in Xian, welcomed by the Chinese President Xi Jingping who breaking protocol welcomed a foreign delegate in his hometown for the first time (history being made here!), CCTV the national broadcaster for China aired a map show showing Arunachal Pradesh as a part of Tibet, while also a large part of Kashmir on the Indian map. The MEA & the govt of course hastened to demand a clarification from the Chinese Govt, which was followed by bilateral talks and an aggressive and stern message by Modi: 'Urge china to reconsider approach on some of the issues that hold bilateral ties back from realising full potential' & 'Reiterated importance of clarification on line of actual control'. 

Many have applauded the comments with Former External Affairs Minister Yashwant Sinha lauding Modi: 'Hope China realises it is dealing with a strong Indian & Prime Minister'. The visit has been quite fruitful, but PM Modi has stirred the Hornet's nest having promised issuing e-visas to the Chinese tourists, which is sure to draw flax from the opposition & give the security agencies heart palpitations. Some see this as a move to help the ongoing issue of Stapled Visas, but whether China will respond to this friendly gesture is yet to be seen. Although the two Asian giants have sought to talk through the issues amicably, there hasn't been any formal promise from China on the issuing of visas to people residing in PoK as well as Arunachal Pradesh

Even as security agencies scramble, the Indian Incorporate has a lot to celebrate. Over a period of two days the PM has been able to ink a lot of contracts between the two nations, with over 30 billion dollars garnered in way of foreign investment coming into the country. This seems to have bought cheer and is being lauded by most, but the troubles of trade deficit looms large over the Modi government. Also, never before has one heard a PM talk about the the finance strategy of a govt in such detail... Wonder if it was to untangle some of the chaos surrounding the bills pending in Parliament. The rush to assure investments seems both reassuring as well as a little desperate. But when the Prime Minister leaves for Mongolia, he will be leaving behind a pink sunset, full of promises...

The selfie taken by PM with Chinese Premier already has over a million likes on FB with Mark Zuckerberg liking it himself, has gone viral on the social media, and is being called 'World's mightiest Selfie' by Forbes. An impressive image it is, two powerful men smiling into the lens, men whose moves are being watched by the world but also those who men whose actions can impact the course of the world. So ponder this...is it one which to pull the wool over the world's eyes or one which will calm the troubled waters?

Cry of the unborn....

The crying doesn't stop
An anguished cry of the soul
Unending reach, the fatal drop
Shocked from its bed of coal

The unborn asks why
The innocent demands a reason
Unanswered questions with a heavy sigh
Dying with the shrivelled season

Torn, shattered,bruised n bleeding
Never questioning, not even pleading
Murdered without a prayer or goodbye
Unwanted, rejected, left to die

The foetus severed without a cause
Never given a wish, a hope or choice
The unborn, a ghost of what never was
The echo never ending, a strangled voice..

An anguished cry....

The whisper of support, the shout of anger,
The pull of a hug, the push that scars
The joy of rain, the devastation of flood
The warmth of sun, the desperation of drought.

Can you hear the wail of the hungry child?
Can you feel the anguish of her lost innocence?
Can u feel the tremble of the unshed tears?
Can you feel the heat of her hope dying?

A world which promises her smiles,
A love that promised to nurture,
A world that crushed her spirits,
A love that stole what remained like a vulture....

No words remain, no hope dares;
The heart remains an empty shell,
A walking death, freed from the snare
Forever meant to carry inside her hell!

The men in her life...

As  Valentine’s Day is around the corner, there are all kinds of mixed feelings in the air. Love, jealousy, regret, memories and most sadly lust. What got me thinking is that although almost everyone I meet tells me that it is so commercial, all seem to enjoy the wish of something as silly as happy hugs day! As Valentine’s Day approaches, me being the unabashed romantic, look back at the men in the my life (warning: It won’t be all that!)

Daddy’s Princess: The first man in every woman’s life is her father. No matter how, a father always has an impact on his daughter, be it one who abandoned her, or one who dotes on her even after she becomes a mother. Mine maybe a bit over bearing, a hard core disciplinarian, a hard man, but he taught me to care to hope and be silly, to forgive and  the most important to love without any rational thought (not sure if I like or hate this!). So here’s to the most important man in my life, my daddy dearest!

The Bear: This one of course is the one whom I used to carry on my shoulders down the stairs, who now carries me down the stairs! Who I pamper, bug irritate and embarrass the most. My darling bear, with his bear hugs and his childish demands is the apple of my eye, and the silly love of my life.

The First Love:  I think we today live in the generation of many loves, some starting as early as age 14. I was luckier to have felt all silly for the first time only after my first year in college ended. I have him to thank for silly days of puppy love, stupid tantrums, crazy fun and warmest of hugs. Everyone deserves a happy first love (if you can call it that), and I was very lucky mine was!

The Love Hater:  This one is a little hard to explain. Have you ever had someone who claims to love you, want to be with you, and then categorically, day in and day out just tell you your various flaws. Rant and rave about your negative impact, all the problems you cause and then claim that he just can’t live without you. Well, there you have it, the Love Hater, who claims to love you, but just the opposite seems real. Sometimes I wonder whether he wanted me to hate me, or if he was just trying to just make me grow up.

The Commitment Phobic: Now this one everyone knows. The one who is always there when things are easy, wants a happy, easy relationship; who runs faster than the wind when asked to be a support through tough times.  When the trust is broken, he will come back, and once back just do a little salsa dance on the heart again. But usually they do manage to make seemingly good friends. There is nothing wrong with I believe, as long as one is able to not make false promises. 

The Strength:  The favorite kind. The one who will be your strength, your support, a gentle heart and who will make you want to be yourself.  Even when I wasn’t me, he let m be whoever I was being because of faith that I would be back. It is the strength of conviction, of irrational faith, of silly hopes and of never ending optimist, of never giving up on me when I have given up on me that extends all the joy and wonderment which is this person.  

Everything said and done, I have only my valentine right here, (none of the above). Me